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Mac Defense
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Note: Some parts of this page are meant to be humorous. Please don't physically attack someone under any circumstance.
Use the truth as your first defense:
- Even Bill Gates loves the Macintosh. Just watch this QuickTime movie:
Regular (1.9 MB) | Streaming (80k)
- Download a copy of this video showing Windows 98 crash during a live product demo on CNN and show it to your friends! (1.6 MB QuickTime)
- At least Apple doesn't get taken to court by the government every week.
- Mention the Apple commercials, everyone knows T.V. doesn't lie!
- Mention the better efficiency and smaller size of the G3 chip.
- Begin to describe the severe faults of Windows 95 (I have found that they'll probably even agree with you that Windows 95 sucks)
- Mention how Macintosh invented the Mouse
- Describe how every Microsoft product is a complete hack of another (usually better) product. This is true with Mac & Windows, Quicken & Money, Navigator & Internet Explorer... |
Annoy the Wintel user:
- Just yell out, "HEY!! YOU NEED TO THINK DIFFERENT!!"
- Begin rambling on about Clarus the dogcow until they look at you funny and walk away.
- Record the "Quack" sound to a cassette and play it whenever the person is around.
- Wear a giant mask of the Mac happy face.
- Go on their Windows computer and proceed to the Apple website. Right-click on the Think Different graphic and select "Use as wallpaper" (or something close to that) for a cool background.
- Wear different Apple shirts every day featuring Clarus, Steve Jobs, the Apple logo, and the Apple snail. (You will have to make some shirts yourself)
- Wear a Mac OS t-shirt whenever you visit a PC retail shop.
echoe@mbox2.singnet.com.sg
Last line of defense (do these in your mind):
- Pull out your Macintosh bible, pretend to look something up, then smack them across the face with it!
- Paint a rainbow apple on a piece of paper then, while it's wet, smack them across the face with it!
- Steal their drivers license, paste a picture of your Mac over their photo, and sneak it back in their wallet.
- Drive to the nearest CompUSA and set up camp in the Apple section. Wait until the manager asks you to leave, then refuse to leave until he calls the cops, then leave.
- Write a bill that bans Bill Gates from all places public and private and submit it to Congress.
Why Macintosh is better than PC:
Deleting a program is too difficult on a PC:
Windows 95: Right click on your Start menu in the lower left corner, then click on "Explore." Left click on "My Computer" in the left frame (near the top), then on "Control Panel" in the right frame, then on "Add/Remove Programs." Select the Install/Uninstall tab, highlight the program you wish to delete, then click on "Add/Remove." Confirm your choice when prompted and you're all set!
Macintosh: Hold the option key as you open the installer.
Microsoft is a generic brand:
Why is every Microsoft product generic? First of all, Microsoft is just short for Microcomputer Software. Windows is an OS with windows which is where it got its name. Other generic products include Internet Explorer, Flight Simulator, Golf, Office, Word, and Money. It's only a matter of time before Microsoft Corridor Shooter or Microsoft Graphic Adventure come out. Apple products, on the other hand, have imaginative names such as the three apple references: Apple (don't ask how this is related to apples), Macintosh (McIntosh apples), and Newton (He was hit with an apple).